“To love someone you need to love yourself first”. That’s impressive, but… what does it mean?
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By observing our own
actions we can understand a lot about it.
For instance, how many of us are able to put their needs first without ending up being or feeling selfish?
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How many of us manage to prioritize something that makes us feel good about ourselves, even small gestures like taking a hot bath, cooking something we like, reading a book, without feeling guilty as if that self care time had been stolen from someone ?
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How many of us say “yes” when they want to say “no” and end up feeling resentful towards people and situations we used to love?
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We have not been educated to put ourselves first, which has nothing to do with the stereotypical (and sociopathic) character of the “man / woman who must never ask” who tells himself that he does not have need nothing and no one, as if it were almost a show of strength when it is the exact opposite, sinking day after day into solitude.
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I think it’s something very difficult for many of us, men and women. Although in my experience I have seen that women in particular are subject to this kind of energy ”exhaustion”.
I know very well the extent to which we are willing to give, to sketch a “okay” when we would like to say no, to appease, to give up something we like, hoping the other will notice and eventually reward our sacrifice; so we end up charging the other person with OUR responsibility (our saying NO) too often ending up forgetting who we are.
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We must culturally change this paradigm starting from our deep belief: if my cup is empty, I have nothing to give. I must fill my cup first and the overflows will be for others; giving will be a joy, and the more I give the more I will be happy.
But there is no one who can or is supposed to fill that cup for me.
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Drop some <3 in the comments if you know what I’m talking about!